The Wonders of Yarn
and how it can get you through the very worst of times.
Life has a habit of throwing us curveballs, and in August I was thrown the biggest one I’ve ever had to face when my mum died unexpectedly.
I don’t think anything can prepare you for the loss of a loved one. You can imagine how you might feel, but the reality is something far different. The constant whirl of emotions, questions and overthinking is exhausting. But for me, the worst part, is the feeling that I’ve lost a connection to one of the most important and influential people in my life. People tell you that you have your memories, and whilst I do have so many wonderful memories, the loss of connection has hit me hardest.
I left home when I went to university 30 years ago and I’ve lived away ever since. But Mum was always on the end of phone for gossip, advice or just to have a natter with. Shopping trips, family gatherings and special occasions have added to the memories over the years, but the connection we had was the most important and special thing for me. And not having that now is crippling at times. Realising when the landline rings that it’s not Mum has had me missing a few phone calls lately.
And whilst I have a few things of Mum’s now, one of the things that I have found most comfort in is her yarn. Sounds strange, but Mum and my gran taught me to knit, and when those around me for a time thought that knitting was a laughable pursuit, Mum was always there to talk to about it. She’d always supported my creative businesses over the year, but when I decided to start writing about knitting and start designing knitwear, Mum was the one who quietly gave me the confidence to do it. She understood how much work I needed to put in. She never belittled my business or dismissed as trivial what I had achieved or my plans for the future. She knew that I could achieve whatever I wanted.
Whilst there was a fair amount of yarn, this particular one has more of a connection for me than the others. Because whilst I don’t remember her buying this yarn, I know where she bought it and knowing that (and knowing that the yarn was discontinued back in 2008) means that she would have bought this yarn between 20 to 30 years ago. She bought it in Cavendish House in Cheltenham when they still sold yarn because that’s where she bought her yarn at that time…especially in the sales! I could tell you some hilarious stories of Mum digging out packs of yarn from under sales bins much to mine and my sister’s embarrassment! And around 30 years ago I used to buy my yarn from there too.
I don’t know what Mum was knitting with it or why she didn’t finish it. She had started knitting something, but I couldn’t find a pattern so I made the decision to unravel it and create something new with the yarn. She bought this yarn and I can imagine her buying it, she worked this yarn and I can imagine her doing that. And with the comfort of that connection, I’m taking this yarn and creating something that I can wear for years to come, in a new pattern that I’ve designed for my business that I know Mum supported.
Knitting and any form of crafting is renowned for its calming mental health benefits and I am so grateful that I can pursue a career in this art form especially at this time in my life. But right now, working with this yarn, it is helping me far more than I would have anticipated.
How has yarn and crafting helped you through the difficult times in your life? I’d love to hear your stories.
In the meantime, until next time and happy knitting!